#64, August 16, 2005

 

Traversing Clio (11)

 

Mea Culpa, Lee!

 

 


This poem marks the triumph of poetry over prose.  It began as an essay outlining the specifics of a graduate school exchange and then turned into a poem.  As if that wasn’t enough, the original prose file, saved inexpicably in html, was saved copied and replaced by the poem, so that now only the poem exists.  Poetic justice, I suppose.


 

 

This poem is

dedicated

to William

            Carlos

and William

            Appleman,

 

Williamses who knew

            a thing

                        or three.

Without their interventions

this poem

            just would

                        not be.

 

 

*          *          *          *

 

I probably should apologize

to many

for the things I have said

and written.

They weren’t always nice,

not always judicious,

and professionally

they just were not at all

astute.

 

There was my dinner with André:

between mouthfuls of cherry pie,

arguing about our debts to

and differences with

the founding father

of Social History:

Was not E.P.

colored by the imperial?

Was not his working-class

void of all color—

black Irish, black Africans,

and those from Rushdie’s

subcondiment?

You disagree?

            Oh well, you would!

 

There was an assault

on Thompson’s père

for being a “friend

of India,”

or imagining himself thus;

and, on C.L.R.

for believing that we could step

beyond the boundaries

of empire.

 

There was the declaration

that African American migrants

making their way north

to the so-called “Promised Land”

had been portrayed as a group

with lady.

 

There was that La Pietra

syndicate,

making the world safe

for American history,

sharing its decrees

with all and sundry—

and, surely, someone needed

to burst that bubble.

 

There were pronouncements

about gatekeepers—

those colonial officials of the discipline—

who decide who gets published,

who will get the jobs,

who will be tenured,

what kinds of history will be taught,

and for what purpose.

 

There were all these faux pas,

and others,

but only the very first of them all,

never published

and seemingly almost forgotten,

seems unacceptable now,

an arrogant act –

and one wonders

why?

 

Are these all not the same?

Is not the idea alone sufficient?

Isn’t everything fair game?

Thompson contra Althusser?

Marxist contra neo-classical?

Revisionists contra traditionalists?

Continuity contra Change?

Women contra men?

Post-Revisionists contra

afternoon post-revisionists?

What of it?

Provided there are stars in the sky

and lights on the street,

are we not all one as shadows?

Who can tell the fat or lean,

the historiographically sound,

the theoretically weak,

by their shadows?

We are all meat for transcendence!

All part of that dialectic—

antithesis to thesis, synthesis

            for both, new thesis

to be revised,

at a later date.

What of it?

Why should one assault differ,

in “the silly world of history,”

from any other?

 

And yet this one did.

 

All the others were just sniping

at the pantheon,

or mere insurgencies against

the establishment;

they would be ignored,

or they would be swatted

like the bug infestations

that they no doubt were—

redoubts that cannot protect the self

from doubt—know doubt—

the gods of the discipline

and their lords and ladies

would remain unmoved.

 

But ours was a classroom

and corridor exchange. 

            No more.

A mere disagreement over

the reading of a text—

Eric’s text—

someone with whom I had never been,

and would not be

on a first name basis.

Your reading,

that of the seasoned scholar

engaged in polemic,

was less charitable

than mine,

that of the fresh graduate student.

The fact that you were,

I now think,

probably right in your reading—

that march of freedom

is a little overblown—

is besides the point.

 

I was emulating you.

You were assaulting the theories of Donald,

Barrington Moore, Genovese,

and Foner;

I was confronting you.

But your “once more unto the breach”

was in the pages of your book,

mine was in your classroom.

As you took me into the corridor

to discuss the points further—

to avoid embarrassment perhaps—

while the remainder of the class

were told to take a breather—

how many times did you halt your class

in this way?—

you turned and said, wistfully,

and with great regret,

“I don’t know why Eric

will not speak to me anymore.”

 

This could almost have been a warning—

swashbuckling is bad for your health,

it doesn’t get you jobs,

it doesn’t get you friends,

it doesn’t even get you Truth—

but it went unheeded.

 

But I now know why Eric

never talked to you again,

 

and you did too.